HELP!

[>>Sparrow<<]

Ok guys...I really really need you help. In November my best friend in the world started to...cut herself. By December me and my other friend had talked her out of it...but now...she wishes she was dead...and it's really hard on me...I keep telling her things but she doesn't listen. She'll only talk about it over the computer... This was our conversation last night...it goes on but I think you get the point ((If you can't tell I was really angry)) I apologize for the cussing...but that's the only way she'll ever listen...please tell me what I should do!


Me:D****IT IT...I'M SRY BUT I WAS ALREADY REALLY P**SED OFF AND NOW THIS! NO WAY IN H*LL ARE WE DOING THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!! NO WAY IN H*LL! YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE THINKING ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT WITH WHAT HAPPEN LAST TIME! THERE IS NO F***ING WAY YOU ARE MAKING BRITTNEY AND I GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! THERE IS NO F***ING WAY YOU ARE MAKING YOURSELF GO THROUGH THAT! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO...PUNCH A PILLOW OR SOMETHING...TO GET RID OF STRESS BUT THERE IS NO F***ING WAY I AM LETTING U EVEN THINK THAT! UNDERSTAND! I SWEAR IF YOU HURT YOURSELF AGAIN! IF YOU HURT BRITTNEY OR COURTNEY...I SWEAR I'LL...D****IT! URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE...DON'T START THIS AGAIN...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE...IF YOU GOT HURT....


Her:................................................................... it just really pisses me off... i dont know why im so depressed... i cant think of why i would be... and it makes me mad...


Me: THAT'S THE POINT! UR NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DEPRESSED...U HAVE NO REASON...AT LEAST THAT I'M AWARE OF...i mean...i don't know much about your family life or anything but... STILL...not to be mean or anything...but are you sure you just don't want attention? That's what most... oh nevermind. THIS BETTER NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH A.J.

oh D****IT NO U CAN'T BE DEPRESSED I ALREADY....D****IT! I DON'T NEED THIS....YOU DON'T NEED THIS...DON'T THROW UR LIFE AWAY TESLA...PLEASE...EVEN IF UR DEPRESSED THAT'S NO REASON TO....D****IT D****IT D****IT! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! NO THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING AGAIN! I WILL NOT LET IT! D****IT! LET'S NOT DO THIS...PLEASE...PLEASE! Y THE H*LL IS IT LIKE THIS...FIRST EVERYTHING IS GREAT THEN EVERYTHING GOES CRAPPY THEN IT STARTS TO GET BETTER AND THEN IT GETS CRAPPY! IT'S LIKE WERE STUCK IN A F***ING CYCLE!

DAMNNIT! PLEASE TESLA...U HAVE TO BE HAPPY...OTHERWISE...I WAS FINALLY GETTING BETTER TOO BUT...D****IT...I GET BETTER...EVERYONE ELSE DOES...I GET WORSE SO DO YOU! PLEASE TESLA.

I'm so so sorry...I know that some of this was mean but...d****it i can't help it anymore...i suppose lack of sleep hasn't helped either but... I'm sorry!


Her: im almost possitive that it has nothing to do with AJ... but you know... a lot of things happened when i got home from school today... and im sorry this im like this but... i dont want attention either... its not anything like that... im just kinda going through a tough time at my house right now...


Me: hmm...in other words ur life is total NORMAL! that's what life is for crying out loud! We're teenagers...that's the way life is! We fight with our friends, with our parents and then everything falls apart. Nothing seems fair to us! You have to realize that...ur life is no different than mine or Brittney's or Courtney's or any girl our age...at least when it comes to that stuff...oh and this doesn't have to do with the necklace does it? Unless there's something your not telling me about...I really can't find a reason for you to be depressed...it just doesn't make sence. Listen Tesla...you're like a sister to me...if you do something stupid...if you..........well part of me goes with you...so does part of Brittney and part of Courtney...so does part of everyone you see every day at school...if something happens everyone will know...and then it will cause other people who feel like you to lose hope...but if you make it through this you can show other people that it's possible...it's not just you that all this effects...it effects me, it effect Brittney and Courtney, it effects that little girl who will someday try the exact same thing...and if you give up...why shouldn't she? But if you don't...you can give her hope...


Her:................................ im not sure why i was depressed at school today... but now i have lots of reasons why i should be depressed!


Me: explain that to me...I'm not giving up until you tell what the hell is so depressing that causes you do be hurting yourself. Your getting me worried...and unless you tell me I'll think it's something bad like that you've been abused or Hoorahually asulted or something...


Her: no i wasn't abused or Hoorahually assuaulted... well first of all... i got home and my dad's car was in the driveway, so i thought he was home... i waited a few hours for someone to come home and when my sister came in i asked her where he was and she said that him and my mom left for their cruise... then about an hour later my friend Emily calls and tells me that she's moving! she's moving with her dad to Ozark or something... then my brothers started screaming at each other and when i went downstairs they started screaming at me and then of course there's my necklace... and well yeah... that's what happened when i got home from school today...


Me: I'm taking a deep breath, trying to calm down....

What the crap are you doing! That's not depressing at all...ok if that was depressing I would have killed myself by now...3rd grade: I moved, I made one friend...then moved. I made another friend who turned out to be a b*tch, my dad and I were fighting, my mom and I were about ready to stab each other, I was afraid of everything, my teacher hated me. This year: my parents and I are constantly yelling at each other, I don't think they approve of my friends...any of them, one of my best friends has a crush on me and starts getting way to close...I had to back him away, another one of my friends and I are fighting with each other, my best friend tries to kill herself, another friend falls in love with someone she's never met, another friend also tries to kill herself, I get depressed because I can't let go of some boy...shall I go on. THIS IS REALLY REALLY STUPID!

trust me I could go on and i would be cussing...but I've g2g...please don't do ANYTHING stupid!


Her: you know... i know you're not trying to be mean... but that may not be depressing to you... but it hurts me... it hurts to fight with my siblings! Emily has been my best friend ever since the 1st grade! and ever since she started hanging out with this girl she ignores me and does things i never thought i would see her do! It hurts me! and then of course there's the thing where i'm not going to see my parents for 5 weeks now and will be stuck at home with my siblings! 5 WEEKS GRACE! NOBODY EVER TOLD ME THEY WERE LEAVING YET! THEY NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING CUZ THEY THINK I DONT CARE! THAT REALLY HURTS ME! IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT THE WORLD AND TEARING MY LIFE TO PIECES! ............... i dont like being this way Grace... it hurts to know that im hurting you and everyone else... but let me ask you something... what would you do if i told you that i didn't care? what would you do if i told you that i didn't care and that the world would be better off without me? you'd get angry right? you'd explain to me that if was gone then everyone would be hurt... some more than others... but... i just don't understand what that means... i try every day to keep smiling but it just doesn't work... i can't do it... you know... i've screamed so many times i can't anymore.......................................... Grace? if you saw me crying... would you cry too?

[>>[S]ilver]

Wow. Ok, for one thing, I think she is depressed over nothing, or she's hiding something very big. Another thing...you also sound depressed.

[>>Sparrow<<]

On the first one...I agree with you

On the second one...I slightly agree with you...I have been depressed off and on for months...but I'm getting better...also I'm NOT cutting myself!

The reason I was depressed is not something stupid like hers...and she was getting so much better...it gave me hope that I could recover to...and I have been...but now...she's going down-hill again and I don't want to either.

Actually...my reason is pretty stupid...but...not as stupid as hers...my reason involves a boy...I fell in love this summer at camp. We spent two months strait with each other at camp. We go out to get firewood for five minutes and someone starts a nasty rumor. People start emotionally abusing him but not me((my dad is the boss of the boss of the camp's boss so no one made fun of me)) He didn't want me to be put through the same thing and left camp earily. Before going we danced for the last time...he even kissed me. I've never cared about anyone so much...I can't let him go. He lives far away...really far away and I miss him...it hurts to think of him...but I really did...and still do...love him...but she she thinks her life sucks because of a few small fights with her parents and siblings.

Honestly...I think part of it has to do with her being adopted...she won't tell me anything about her birth parents...

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[*~[R]ose-[B]rennan~*]

Hey my friend is going through the same thing, but we know it's only for attention as she actually BOASTS about it, it really is ridiculous and she spends so much time off school we can't kep an eye on her, she pretends she's ill and is taking all of these drugs and is lying and saying their not working to get stronger ones. She tells us she keeps a knife under her pillow and marks out where she cuts on her wrists so as not to kill herself. It's nothing like your friend but Jesus it's so....

((By the way, i'm fine, i'm about as undepressed as you go ))

Also, my friends older sister was cutting herself, she also tried to kill herself a couple of time through drug over doses. I didn't know as I wasn't good friends with her at the time but now my friend tells us about it becuause she doesn't want anyone else to go through the same experience she did. People who cut themselves tend not to want to talk about it and start up at the shoulder so it will not be noticed and slowly work down the arm to the wrists as time goes on. All I can say is THIS GIRL NEEDS HELP!! I know her parents must be out on a cruise but can't you tell older siblings whats going on? And don't say it would ruin a friendship because (I'm being frank and I'm sorry if i sound rude) but it is more important she survives then she keeps her friends right now. But try and look after her, don't get to angry as it doesn't seem to be making an effect...get her too talk to someone! And also, if you are also feeling depressed maybe talk to your parents. I share everything with my mother and we're extremly close, it helps a lot as I went through a stage when I was eleven with people spitting in my food and just being overall B*tches but that's all over now although I don't know what I'd have done if it wasn't for my mother.

Finally, what is it about a necklace, we can't offer full advice (well...yeah) if we don't have all the facts.

I hope this helps for now and good luck
Rose

[>>[S]ilver]

I agree with Rose. But I don't know if I can be of that much help, I just don't bother myself with having too many friends (You guys are great, though). So, I really hope she does NOT kill herself. Which would be crappy So yeah, what is it with the necklace?

[>>Sparrow<<]

Okay...first of all...her parents already know...and she was seeing someone about it...Second of all...I can't tell my parents...I already know what they would say. My mom would say suck it up and get on with life...I tried that...it didn't work. My dad would stick me in a mental hospital. Also they do not approve of him ((he's older than me))

Thirdly I don't really understand the necklace very much. All I know it that it all has to do with Nikka...

This will be a long story just so u know

She and I love to write and we write a lot...we started writing this story about Nikka and girl with a really depressing story. After awhile I began to realize Nikka was sort of her alter ego. Nikka's crush Zina gave her a necklace exactly like the one she lost. Nikka did some really stupid, horrible things in her life and I think the necklace sort of helps her remember that she is not Nikka...that people care about her...it reminds her not to do those things... I think it's sorta like a little kid and their favorite stuffed animal or a night light. It makes her feel safe.

[*~[R]ose-[B]rennan~*]

Well to be honest I don't know what to say to that, I hope things are getting better for you and your friend i recovering, if not please tell her parents! No luck with me though, she also doesn't eat as well as another one

[Tigerfire]

That happened with my friend once and I had to make her drink 3 glasses of warm water to make her calm down.

[blackpelt]

go to a teacher you trust